


Unworthy

by ClusterPanic



Category: Bravely Default (Video Game) & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Brief mentioned gore, Festivals, Fluff, M/M, Some minor swears, Your basic fluff and angst, major spoilers for the end of the game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-13 23:32:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7990270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClusterPanic/pseuds/ClusterPanic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternis has always cared for Tiz, but it took a chance meeting in Caldisla for him to realize just how much. <br/>After being invited to join Tiz at the Hartsfest Fesival, will he have the courage to tell him how he feels?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unworthy

It had only been a couple months since the Warriors of Light had bravely expunged darkness from our world.

In that time, Luxendarc had entered a well-deserved state of rest, and a shaky impasse was generated between the Duchy and the Orthodoxy. Armies were recalled, disbanded, and dissipated towards one another, and the leaders of each nation found themselves in calm negotiations. It would be a long time before real steps could be taken to ensure a peaceful future, but at that moment, all of the world’s people were thankful for the state of quiet.

Well, most of us were enjoying the stillness in lax enjoyment.

I was still faithfully serving the duchy, as I always would: a councilman at the command and call of His Lordship. My job as of late included traveling to the distant continents to check on the state of the world, and to be sure that all was well after the recent events. My work had me busy, and it wasn't often that I could spend long periods of time at home, in Eternia.

It was regrettable, of course, but my duty was very rewarding to accomplish. Knowing that I was slowly helping the state of the world consoled me into continuing my job without complaint.

Not that I would ever complain about any job I was given.

Today, my travels took me to Caldisla, Land of Beginnings. It looked no worse for wear: the stone buildings stood straight and proud against an inviting blue sky. People milled about the streets and docks, each of them wearing some varying expression of contentment, the kind that one would see after a long war.

_They might as well have been through one…_

I thought grimly to myself, mouth upturned. People of all sorts had suffered from the worldly crisis, including those in Caldisla. The very city in which I stood was burned and terrorized by the nation I swore fealty to. The time for true apologies between the world's people would come in time, when the dust of this matter fully settled. As for today, I was to simply speak with the King.

I walked slowly up the stone street, breathing in the fragrant summer air so rare to find in Eternia. Although my eyes rarely wandered along the various buildings around me, I spared the old inn on the corner a glance as I passed by. An argument could be made that this was the building that started that fateful adventure, with me at its epicenter. What included me did not, in fact, involve the Duchy. Rather, I had rescued the Miracle, Tiz Arrior, from the river, and gave him a second chance at life. I still remember the day very well, as vivid as if it was yesterday.

When Tiz was rescued, he was weak with fatigue and unconscious, with no one he cared about in the world. The former shell of a boy I had found snagged on some rocks was nothing like the man he had become.

Tiz had grown into a person of great power and standing, known throughout Luxendarc as a Hero of Light. He was exceptional in more ways than one: aside from being powerful, he was also a very kind and understanding soul. Although I was never given the chance to formally introduce myself to him, I felt lucky to know Tiz better than most.

_At least, as well as I dare._

I blinked to jar my thoughts back into focus: I had a job to accomplish here. I was to simply speak with the King of Caldisla, then be on my way, back to Eternia. It would be a well-deserved rest after weeks of racing around the world. Admittedly, I was all too eager for a short break. Even the most diligent of soldiers need them.

I walked steadily up the sloping road, quickly approaching the palace doors while trying to avoid harsh cracks in the stone street. My desire to be brisk was starkly explicit in the swift steps of my feet, leaving no time for caution and opening an opportunity for my armor to scrape against the stone. The palace guards posted at the door made no move when they saw my approach, or even spared me a second glance. They had seen me visit before, and knew that I was no threat to the kingdom. _Not that they could do much in the way of harm to me._ I had no idea whether that thought was comforting or alarming.

I pushed open the palace doors, stepping inside of the large throne room. Light poured from the enormous, stained-glass window behind the throne, illuminating the floor with an array of different colors. The red carpet at my feet stretched from the door to the foot of the King’s throne, where not one, but two people stood. I was met with a sight most surprising: Tiz Arrior, speaking casually with the King. _He appears just as I was thinking of him._ Though more than slightly taken aback, I chose, practically forced myself to simply let it slide.

The two were speaking to each other as if talking to an old friend, which they very well could have been. It was strange to look upon them as I did, as an outsider looking in. Though being the person I was, I was no stranger to seclusion and a pariah to potential friends.

I paused my approach and lingered by the door, feeling awkward to have intruded upon their conversation.

The King of Caldisla noticed me first, his gaze brightening when I caught his eyes. His round face held the delighted surprise of an unexpected appearance quite well, enough for me to easily see. “Ah, Alternis Dim! How good to see you!” He said with a good-natured smile tucked neatly into his beard.

I grew slightly bashful under his kindness, thinking that I did not deserve to be treated in such good spirits. _Every time I visit Caldisla, I feel as though I am atoning for my sins._

Coming here always left me with heavy amounts of guilt, all for my crimes against the nation. One simply had to mention the name “Owen,” and my spirit would drop faster than a rock off of a cliff.

I quickly thought of a suitable greeting, now realizing that I would have to simply speak with both Tiz and the King. “Greetings, Your Majesty. And greetings to Tiz Arrior as well,” I said formally with a low bow, changing my normal voice into a more friendly tone. Though it was usually difficult to switch into lighter spirits, I could do it easier in front of world leaders. Necessary actions to convince and soothe.

“I have come to inquire about the state of Caldisla on behalf of the Duchy.” Relaying orders and words had become second-nature to me, which could be described as either good or bad. Often, I could give the Grand Marshal’s words in verbatim to how they were said. _Edea scorns me for such behavior._

Tiz Arrior had turned to look at me from the moment the King said my name, and now cast me a friendly smile in greeting. I had no way of returning such a kind gesture with my helmet donned, so I settled on nodding slightly in his direction, raising my hand in a slight wave. His sudden act of kindness was jarring to receive: Tiz should not have felt any obligation to treat me in such a way. I painfully remembered the occasion in which I had knocked him unconscious and threatened to slay his friends. The simple memory provoked ugly guilt to crawl its way up my spine.

_He should not feel indebted to me in any way._

Tiz’s expression did not look hateful in the least: his radiant smile said that much. Multicolored light from the glass poured across his cheeks, framing them nicely for my eyes. I quickly realized that I had been staring, praying that he had not noticed, as unlikely as that was.

_That was...odd. What could have come over me?_

At my opening statement of greeting, the King smiled and sat up in his chair, hands folding over his large stomach. The glance between Tiz and I seemed to go unnoticed by him, much to my relief. “Ah, yes. We’ve had no problems in the city as of late, although there still have been large amounts of monsters near the Norende Ravine.” He looked troubled as he said this, one hand moving up to stroke his white beard thoughtfully while speaking.

It took me a moment to realize that the King was talking, my thoughts snapping away from Tiz and back to reality.

I nodded quickly to show that I understood the king, perhaps a bit too quickly, bringing out my journal and writing down his words in a near frenzied scribble. I was determined to look like I had been paying attention, in the eyes of both the King and Tiz. “I will notify the Lord Marshal of this, and hopefully we will be able to assist you with your problem,” I said methodically as I wrote. It was more of an automated response from me, though there was still concern behind it. I truly was worried for Caldisla, which is why the island nation was my most visited destination apart from Eternia.

The King hummed with acknowledgement and stood up, taking a few steps towards me as he spoke. “Thank you, Alternis. The Duchy has been an avid listener of our problems ever since the expulsion of darkness across the world, and I believe that you personally deserve Caldisla’s thanks,” he said with a grateful smile. The King of Caldisla then bowed to me, making my eyes widen slightly at the gesture.

_More actions and feelings that I do not deserve._ I thought as I watched him, glad that my helmet hid my shocked expression.

Nevertheless, I felt honored to be praised by Caldisla’s king, and returned the bow with one of my own. My thoughts fumbled over one another in a hurry to respond, determined to properly thank the King for his gracious praise.

“Y-You honor me, Your Highness. The Duchy will continue to listen to Caldisla’s woes as long as it has them, and I wish you and your Kingdom good fortune.” This statement contained more words of my own, from my own heart and mind. I do occasionally think for myself when speaking to world leaders. I believe that in order to convince others of your sincerity to help, you must sound sincere yourself. To accomplish that, one must speak for themselves. In doing this, I had helped bring the world together.

I straightened my posture and turned to leave, walking out of the royal palace in lighter spirits than normal. Caldisla’s ruler may not have been exceptionally strong or powerful, but his humility and understanding nature made him a memorable King. In my eyes, such attributes were better than all the power and wealth in the world.

At one moment in time, I had deceived him under the guise of a stranger. When I had been sent here to scout out the city for the Sky Knights, I had approached the King as nothing more than a traveler, with Owen at my side. Underneath my false exterior, I was an enemy of the kingdom, a threat to Caldisla, and no man deserving of any kindness. And yet, the Captain of the Caldislan Guard, Owen, had treated me with nothing but benevolence. He and his father were fooled by my façade and treated me as a guest to their inn, unknowingly helping the very parasite that would eat their nation away. Thinking back on it, there are few things that even come close to matching my guilt towards my actions here.

I was grieved to hear of Owen’s death at Heinkel’s hands, after getting to know the man better than I probably should have dared. My mission was clear, and yet I foolishly allowed myself to become close to him. He offered me such hospitality in my stay, and always treated me well, making it hard not to consider him as a friend.

_Though I know that I am partly to blame for his death._

Stuck in my suddenly gloomy thoughts, I blindly walked back outside. I was greeted by the cloudless, flawless sky, but due to my abrupt stoop in demeanor, I could only think of the sun as an aggravation to my eyes. Usually I did not suffer from such steep mood swings, and since I rarely ever feel emotions strongly, one could say that my mood never swings at all. I find it easier that way: easier to focus on my tasks rather than worry about my own feelings.

I sighed and continued to walk, looking forward to returning to Eternia, and getting away from this memory-laden nation. As far as mood swings go, Caldisla gave me the worst of them.

The palace doors were slowly closing behind me, creaking with the effect of rusty hinges when I heard brisk footsteps on stone, as well as a familiar voice.

“Hey, Alternis, wait!”

I turned my head to see none other than Tiz running toward me, a bright expression on his face. I paused my steps and waited for him to catch up, feeling a sense of confusion as well as a sinking feeling in my gut.

_What could he want?_

I felt no hostility towards Tiz: rather I felt an excess of humility and guilt. I could see no reason for him wanting to speak to an abomination like me. I shoved down all the complicated feelings and replaced them with a blank slate, forcing my expression to reflect the same. I was simply to hear what he had to say, nothing else.

Tiz came out into the sunlight, the golden rays shining praisingly through his mousy-brown hair. I turned to completely face him, clasping my hands awkwardly behind my back. It still felt strange for him to want to talk to me, after all that we had been through on opposite sides.

_Just listen to what he has to say: it could be important._

“What is it, Tiz?” I asked in one of my kinder tones, hoping that I didn't sound as blunt as I felt. I figured that simply keeping away from Tiz was easier than confronting my misbehavior towards him. I hated feeling any emotion strongly, and guilt seemed to be a regular ever since Tiz had come into my life.

The Norende boy paused when he was a few feet away, casting me another warm smile.

“Well, I...I just wanted to talk to you, actually,” he said, causing my expression to quickly deadpan.

_He just wanted to talk to me._

The simple truth seemed far too...simple.

“I figured that we haven’t really introduced ourselves, and since we’re starting a new era of peace, it might be a good idea to, um...to get to know each other better.”

I blinked with surprise at his straightforward explanation; I had been expecting a different answer. Whatever it was that I had anticipated remained a mystery, but now I was forced to confront the unexpected.

I coughed to clear my throat before quickly nodding my head, trying to regain my posture after that jarring surprise.

“A-Ah, alright then. As you wish.” I managed to say with minimal stuttering. It was alarming that my composed exterior had been so easily usurped, though I chose not to let it significantly bother me.

Tiz paused like he was waiting for me to speak, which I took as an invitation to introduce myself first. I wondered only a moment on what to say, choosing the easiest course of action.

“Well, you know that my name is Alternis Dim, holder of the dark knight asterisk and member of the Council of Six.” I cursed my stupidity after I listened to myself talk, knowing that I must have sounded idiotic to Tiz. _Of course he knows your name and job, half-wit. Can you try and say something intelligent?_

Shame burned in the pit of my stomach; I had already gotten off to a bad start. The corners of my mouth turned down, and I tilted my head slightly away, looking absently towards the ground. “T-Though you probably already knew that.” I mumbled out embarrassedly.

The boy only chuckled in response, one gloved hand moving to rub the back of his head thoughtfully. His laugh told me that he didn't think of me as foolish, that or he hid it very well. Either way, I was slightly relieved to hear it.

“Heh, I did know that, believe it or not,” Tiz said with some good-natured amusement.

“I’m Tiz Arrior, shepherd of Norende. Nice to meet you, Alternis.” The fact that he made no mention of his title as a Warrior of Light made my respect for him grow substantially.

He must have taken my lead, for he introduced himself in a similar manner to what I had done. The modest action slightly warmed even my cold heart. Had I been a different person, I believe I would have smiled.

He hesitantly extended his hand in front of him, which I readily accepted and shook firmly. His grip was admirably strong, even compared to mine, giving me insight on how powerful Tiz had become.

You would never be able to tell just by watching him; Tiz appeared to be nothing more than an average shepherd. In battle, however, he was certainly a force to be reckoned with.

_I should know._

I realized that our hands had still been joined while I was thinking, and now the contact was just beginning to reach awkward levels. I quickly drew back and released another self-conscious cough, mentally beating myself for being so artless around Tiz.

_What’s the matter with me? He’s just a normal person: nothing for me to be inept around._

I felt that I needed to deter the conversation away from that handshake. “So, uh, Tiz…What have you been doing lately?” I praised myself for coming up with something so quickly.

_Good, that’s a good question. It sounds like something a normal person would say._

As easy as the question would have been for other people to think of, I was rather talentless in the art of conversation. Coming up with dialogue to say to a person whom I wanted to think well of me was difficult, to say the very least.

The boy looked pensive for a moment, one hand coming to rest at his chin.

“Well, I've been doing a lot of work rebuilding Norende. Also, I've been helping out the Caldislan guard with the monster attacks. Otherwise, I've just been taking it easy.”

He said the last part with a sort of half-laugh, shrugging his shoulders and moving his hand back to his side. His doings were commonplace, but contained much heart. I wouldn't expect any less from Tiz, for it would seem that those two things described much of who he was. We slowly moved to stand in front of the armory as he spoke, next to the ledge looking over the other half of the city and out of the bustle in the street.

“I think that I earned a little personal time after everything was over,” Tiz admitted.

I quickly nodded in agreement, knowing very well how hard he had worked. As one of the overseers of his journey, I had heard about, or been present for every event that took place, giving me a clear understanding of Tiz’s efforts for his cause.  “Yes, you do deserve some time to yourself after that mess,” I said, eager to agree with him. “As for me, I've been running around the world, visiting each nation and listening to their problems. Once I am done here in Caldisla, I will have time to myself: which I haven't had in a long while.”

I realized that he never asked to hear about myself, and hoped that what I said did not make it seem like I was complaining. I liked my work, and didn't mind it as much as others would. If I was being useful to the Lord Marshal, then I was content.

Tiz’s eyes only widened at my speech.

“Wow, you sound pretty busy. What do you do on your days off?” He asked curiously.

I blinked as I thought up my answer, my mind drawing an embarrassing blank.

_What is it I_ do _on my days off?_

There was one thing I could say, bland as it was. I sighed, quickly realizing how unexciting this was going to sound.

“...I usually practice swordplay.”

Tiz looked as if he was expecting me to continue. “That’s it?” His tone was disbelieving, making me inwardly shrink with embarrassment. I nodded slowly and looked away, cursing myself for not coming up with something better.

“Yes, that's what I do.” I mumbled, my brows creasing slightly with malcontent. I suppose that I could have lied in order to avoid this, but the thought of lying to Tiz made my stomach turn. I had already hurt him enough in my lifetime, so what was the point of hurting him more? I would rather bear the pain of embarrassment than the weight of a lie.

Tiz stared at me for a few moments, unmoving and blank with a mouth like a straight line. Then, his face broke into a smile, accompanied by ringing, beguiled laughter. I was entranced by this for a moment, for reasons almost too odd to explain. Every time before today, whenever I had seen Tiz, his expression had been akin to a scowl. I was a threat to Agnès, and therefore did not warrant any good emotions. But now, Tiz was smiling and laughing, captivating my eyes and holding my focus. I was quick to notice: he was quite handsome when he smiled.

While I had been aimlessly staring with my mouth slightly open, Tiz had been talking without notice. “So you're saying that you never do anything for fun?”

My thoughts snapped back to the waking world almost painfully, jarring me out of a happy trance. I quickly processed his words and thought of an answer, my tongue wishing it could deny my bland statement and say it to be untrue. Yet, I found no such things.

I sighed and nodded my head dejectedly, feeling slightly humiliated. “...I suppose not. You must think me to be very boring,” I murmured, looking slightly downward and preparing for his agreement.

Instead, Tiz’s expression seemed to change, transforming into a look of dissent. “I-I don't think you're boring, Alternis,” he quickly stated, holding up his hands for emphasis. He swallowed and looked me over quickly, his mouth twitching slightly as he tried to lighten the mood. “Edea would say that you need to get out more, though.” He said with a lopsided smile, trying to ease me into a lighter atmosphere.

I let out an amused huff of air at his statement and looked away, out towards the blue coast. Perhaps I could allow myself to feel happy, just this once, for Tiz’s sake. After all, the boy was trying quite hard to make me feel better about my uneventful social existence.

“Yes, well, I find myself hard-pressed to accept her advice to me. She thinks that I need assistance with social skills and interactions as well,” I said, hoping that I sounded both bitter and comedic.

Tiz laughed at that and nodded his head, not even looking slightly surprised.

“That sounds like Edea, all right. So, she’s been doing fine? I haven't seen her in a few weeks.”

His genuine concern for his close friend made the corners of my mouth twitch in the most subtle of ways. “She’s been her usual self, eating all of the parfaits in Eternia as a pastime.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Tiz said with a chuckle.

His amused expression then faded slightly, replaced by something largely more serious. It was odd to see the look on his face; I would've much rather had him smile, laugh, or make some other expression of happiness. To me, Tiz didn't seem like the kind of person to be very serious. Shy, yes, but not this. Because he made that expression, I knew that a matter of utmost sobriety was about to be unearthed. “Have you two...um, settled your differences?”

His question was as innocent as his demeanor, and because he was a personal friend of Edea, I figured that he had the right to know. It pained me to think about it, and hurt even more to say aloud, but I knew that I could speak to Tiz. Something about him was soothing, loosening up the walls I had put up around myself. How did he accomplish this? The question remained fixed in my mind. Perhaps the answer was in his thoughtful brown eyes, or his joyous smiles. It could possibly have been his diffident nature, or his compassionate personality. _I can trust him with this._

Still, I couldn't force the grimace away, or swallow the hard lump in my throat.

“...She informed me of her disinterest in a relationship,” I said quietly.

Instantly he looked apologetic, quickly trying to smooth his words. It wouldn't do him any good: the question could not be taken back.

“Alternis, I'm sorry for asking-”

“No, it is fine.” I stopped him before he could continue, forcing all emotion from my tone. In reality, what had happened was anything but fine. It was crushing and heartbreaking to an extreme, a feeling which I had thought I was prepared for. Instead, I was left in shambles.

I knew that she had picked _him_ , of all people, over me. He who would gallivant about with various women, exploiting nighttime hours with frivolous activities. _Him_ , who had left her behind with nothing but a goodbye. _Him_ , who hadn't known her for nearly as long as I had. _Him,_ who made no oath, did not swear to protect her. In the end, he was the one to capture her heart.

My jaw tightened as I was once again reminded of why, my thoughts spinning around that metaphorical bruise on my conscience.

“I've come to the conclusion that she may not have been the right person for me, and that I should move on.” My voice had easily turned cold and stony once again, as metallic as my armor and dark as my heart. Tiz frowned slightly at hearing it, his expression changing as some new emotion crossed it. He inched slightly closer to me, eyes tracing carefully over my helmet. He hesitantly reached out with his hand, placing it gently on my shoulder.

I froze under his touch and drew a blank in my mind, trying to decide how to react.

Usually, touching me without permission was an excellent way to lose a hand, though I did allow some people to do so. Although I didn't know Tiz intimately well, I couldn't bring myself to shrug him off. He was so kind and sympathetic, both things I usually rejected from others, but not from Tiz. Somehow, he was different. Instead of resisting, I just stood there, dumbfounded, waiting for him to continue in order to fill my stunned silence.

He offered me to tiniest of smiles, tilting his head as if trying to look into my helmet.

“I think that you’re right: about your relationship with Edea,” he said earnestly, giving my shoulder a slight squeeze. “I'm happy that you've decided to move on, and...um, and I think that’s the right decision.” His words were encouraging and uncommonly friendly, more than what I was used to from most people. Though he still seemed quite shy to say such things, his sincerity of voice and gesture provoked a faint blush on my cheeks.

I swallowed hard and nodded quickly, realizing that I was getting too deep into my own emotions. I was simply looking too far into this, that was all. Still, the heat was not forced from my face. “Y-Yes, well, I feel as if moving on is the best course of action.”

Was there a waver in my voice? I hoped that I had simply misheard myself, and my stammer was just a figment of my imagination.

It was amazing how flustered Tiz could make me feel, for reasons unknown to myself.

_Why can't I simply act normal around him?_

That was a question that I could not answer, but I could tell that it somehow related to the butterflies in my stomach, and nervous stutter. I bit my lip and furrowed my brows, frustrated as well as hopelessly confused.

Tiz smiled and removed his hand, leaving a sense of coldness on my shoulder in its place. It was a strange feeling of emptiness, making it so that I almost wished for him to leave his hand there.

_Gah, what am I even thinking!?_

I cursed the very idea of my desire the moment it processed in my mind.

I needed a quick deterrent from the current subject, anything else to talk about, the first thing that came to me…

“So, Tiz, how are you and Agnès, then?”

_Curse my useless mind._

I had figured early on that there was something between the two of them, though it could have just been my imagination. Tiz’s ferocious protection of the wind vestal seemed to be spawned of more than friendship, to my eyes at least.

Though, why I openly asked about his relationship with her, I didn't know.

Perhaps it was because we were already on the subject, or maybe I just couldn't think of anything else. Either way, the effect was devastating.

I hated the words as soon as I said them, though only partly for their content. It was the crestfallen, heartbroken look that appeared on Tiz’s face that really made me feel like punching myself in the gut.

“Oh, um...Well, she actually denied me, like Edea did to you,” he said quietly. He made one effort to force a smile back onto his face, but it was useless in sustaining itself for long. Instead, the corners of his mouth fell back down into place, forming a slightly bent frown. He looked away towards the ground, letting out a long sigh through his nose and closing his eyes.

_Look what you've done, you insensitive fool._

Feeling no small amount of self-loathing, I again cursed myself for bringing up matters with such fresh wounds. He appeared so melancholy at the mere mention of his rejection, it made my own dark heart sorrowful to see him in such a state.

_But what to do...I can't just leave him like that. The problem is: I'm horrendous at comforting people. I've no idea what to say..._

I decided that an apology would be a good start. I knew that apologizing would be the first thing Edea did to someone she had wronged.

“Forgive me, Tiz. I had no intention of bringing up such sensitive matters,” came out my stumbling attempt. It was inadequate to mend the wound I so callously tore open, but for now, apologizing was the best thing I could do.

Tiz shook his head dismissively, his smile partially returning as his eyes opened again. I was immensely relieved to see him do this, even going so far as to let out a small breath I had silently been holding, now knowing that I had chosen the correct path. Tiz looked back up at me, his expression now more vibrant than they were. “Don’t worry about it. I figure that I should take your advice: try to move on.” He gave my shoulder a playful tap with his fist, a grin slowly reappearing on his face.

Partially out of allayment to see him returning to normal, I let out a rare chuckle of laughter. “Heh heh, that would be the first time I ever helped anyone with personal problems. I find myself happy to be of assistance.” It was almost effortless: the simple banter we passed between us. The easiness that I felt rising in my chest was refreshing, and the triumph I felt to achieve such an emotion was monumental. I had succeeded in talking to Tiz, and now, he spoke to me as if talking to a friend. I felt the walls around me begin to fade, like I was ready to finally open up to him. My mouth turned into the smallest of smiles, wasted as it was behind the steel of my helmet.

Tiz’s handsome face beamed with gratitude, his eyes turning bright once again.

“You know, I think that if anyone else had tried to comfort me, it wouldn't have gone as well. You really are something else, Alternis.” He bumped my elbow gently with his own, that sheepish smile forcing my heart into overdrive.

His praise of my actions made my face flush again, and I thanked the fact that he could not see me do so.

It was so easy to be relaxed around Tiz; his gentle smile and soft brown eyes could melt the coldest heart. Even now, as he looked at me, beaming in the midday sun, I lost myself in his gaze. “Alternis, I think that we should really talk more oft-”

“I would do anything for you, Tiz.”

In a thoughtless moment, my mind lost control of my tongue, allowing my emotions to instead become my mouthpiece.

Once I registered what I had just said, I wished more than anything to take those words back. Of course they were truthful: they had been spoken directly from my heart, but they were too honest for me to hear aloud. It was a truth that I hadn't yet accepted, that I still didn't know enough about. I hadn't come to terms with my turbulent feelings yet, and I wasn't ready to hear them said aloud by my traitorous tongue. Despair swelled in my chest when I realized that I had ruined the easy atmosphere we had created between ourselves. I swallowed hard and clenched my fists, forcing my mouth shut to prevent any other unexpected outbursts.

_Please, no. Not after I finally have gotten close to him. I can't lose him again._

Tiz had paused when he heard my words, blinking with surprise as he stared back at me. I watched with amazement as his cheeks gained a dusting of red on them, reinvigorating my own blush substantially. He blinked again and seemed to gain focus back in his expression, a flustered, nervous smile creeping up one side of his mouth.

“Y-You would? That’s very kind of you, Alternis. I, uh, feel as though I don't deserve such a commitment.” His eyes sparkled uncertainly as he said this, as if testing uncharted waters.

My instinctual reaction was to blatantly deny him for saying such a thing, but I swallowed those words and instead spoke more calmly. I had to regain control of myself, or else I would certainly lose him.

“I would have to disagree, Tiz,” I started, forcing my voice level. “On your journey, you did well to keep Edea safe in my absence, and…”

I paused before I spoke next. This topic was near painful to speak aloud, stranger to me than for anyone, I would think. And yet, I felt a need to mention him. _No description of Tiz’s journey would be complete without him._

“...You took care of my double from an alternate world while he was regaining his memory, even though he was...well, he was a bit of a handful.”

Edea had told me all about ‘Ringabel,’ recounting stories, actions, and words spoken by him. It made me more embarrassed and disgusted than I could put into words to know that he was me, and I him, even though we could not have possibly been more different. _It is scary to know that he is what I could become, should I ever lose my memory._ That thought gave me inspiration to never experience amnesia.

Tiz looked slightly somber for a moment, probably at the mention of Ringabel. My counterpart had left the other Warriors not long ago, searching for a specific world without another word. I knew that Edea had been heartbroken at his sudden adjournment, and I could only assume from his expression that Tiz was as well. Over the course of their journey, the four of them had grown closer than I could ever imagine, and to have one of them leave left the others in a rather broken state.

Tiz seemed near hesitant to agree with me on Ringabel’s behavior. “He was troublesome at times, I will admit, but he was also one of the best people you could ever have standing by you. He was reliable in a fight, and above all, an excellent friend.” He sighed as he said this, casting a thoughtful glance at the sky. The words came easy to him, unusual for Tiz, so I knew that he meant everything he said about Ringabel.

_My double sounds like a better person than I could ever be._

I thought disappointedly to myself. The idea made me strangely upset, either with myself or Ringabel. I wasn't sure which.

Tiz seemed to read my thoughts, oddly enough, and made a quick effort to buff my own image. “I-I'm not saying that you aren't any of those things, though. After all, where else would Ringabel have gotten those attributes?” He said with a smile, trying hard to make me too feel special.

I grunted amusedly at his attempt, folding my arms across my chest. “We both know that some of his attributes were not inherited from me.” I was referring to Ringabel’s obsession with women, and his tendency to philander.

_Such ideas have never even crossed my mind._

Tiz smiled sheepishly at that, nodding his head in agreement. “You're not wrong there,” he agreed immediately. “He was especially troublesome whenever he would-”

Suddenly he cut himself off, eyes widening as he realized what he was about to say. His cheeks tinted once again, and it looked as though he wished to turn invisible on the spot. Whatever he was going to mention, it obviously wasn't for my ears.

My curiosity piqued, and I found myself unable to leave the topic alone.

“Whenever he would do what, exactly?”

I asked, trying not to sound forceful.

Tiz swallowed and turned away, looking increasingly more uncomfortable. His hands wrung the bottom of his shirt, and his brown eyes seemed to be carefully avoiding mine.

“O-Oh, it’s nothing, really. Besides, it might make you feel... _awkward_...if I told you.”

That did nothing to appease me and my insatiable curiosity. Instead, I now had to know just what Ringabel had done.

“Tiz, with me being the same person as Ringabel, I believe I am worthy of hearing about his doings.” My tone was not harsh, but it had a sort of commanding layer to it. I wasn't taking no for an answer. Part of me felt that Tiz could be right, and perhaps knowing this information would be more harmful than beneficial. But the larger part of me didn't care about the consequences, only the knowledge.

Tiz sighed with defeat once he realized that I wasn't going to give up, biting his bottom lip before reluctantly meeting my gaze. “Fine. You're right.” His admittance was very forced, making me feel slightly guilty. Still, curiosity overpowered that guilt, forcing me to continue my advance. Clasping his hands behind his back, Tiz shifted his weight from foot to foot nervously as he spoke.

“Ringabel had a tendency to flirt with...well, basically anything,” he started, the statement not even coming close to fazing me. “Quite often, he…” Tiz paused, trying to find the courage to say his next words. He squeezed his eyes shut and tensed his shoulders, unable to look at me as he gave away the truth.

“...He flirted with me as well.”

Hearing that was like receiving a punch to the stomach from Barras Lehr. My knees wobbled slightly, and I believe that I began to sway where I stood. I told myself to focus on the stone pavement beneath my armored feet, but my mind was consumed by thoughts about what Tiz had just said.

_Ringabel flirted with Tiz...quite often._

I couldn't pinpoint the emotion currently swirling in my chest, instead I read it as a mixture of shock, disbelief, self-disgust, embarrassment, and...fear? Could it really be fear that I felt writhing in the pit of my stomach? Fear of what- my own emotions? My feelings? That seemed to be it.

The answer had been laid out neatly before me, and now I was forced to confront it.

Panic swelled in my throat at the thought, seizing control of my vocal cords. I swiftly cut off all thoughts on the matter, quickly attempting to change the topic.

“Ah, w-well, I am sorry if he ever...o-overwhelmed you with his charms.”

I forced out through my violently constricting windpipe.

_It's too much. Too much. Too much._

My heart was pounding hard against my ribcage, desperate to be free of the confines of my chest. My hands may have started shaking: to still them I tightly gripped the hilt of my sword, squeezing hard enough for my knuckles to hurt.

Tiz was dismissive of my apology, though I noticed that something else flashed in his brown eyes. I was sure that my mind was simply seeing things in its delerium, after all, I was emotionally unbalanced and not thinking straight. But still...

_Was mine not the reaction he was looking for?_

That was a very curious thought.

“I got used to it after a while: though I think that he, um...he may have been fully serious about it at times. Generally, he grew less flirty as he started to regain his memories.” Tiz’s embarrassing, yet informative explanation made sense to me, as I could see why someone with my past and origins would be prone to seriousness.

“I’m not sure if he ever truly had feelings for me, or if he was just messing around.” The boy shrugged his shoulders, giving me a clueless expression. I wasn't sure I could clear his confusion, especially given the current disheveled state of my emotions. My mind spun helplessly, deciding quickly to steer our conversation away from the subject at hand once again. To do this, I thought of a simple question to ask him.

“...Tiz, are you busy tonight?”

The question sounded rather innocent to my ears at first; a simple act of curiosity, end of story. And yet, as I thought more of it, my word choice could easily have been taken the wrong way. _I was just simply asking what his plans were, nothing more...I think. Argh! What is even going on!?_

Tiz’s eyes appeared astute as he thought, glancing upwards towards the cerulean sky.

“Hmm...No, not that I can think of. Why do you ask?”

His question caught me completely off-guard, as if I hadn't been expecting an inquiry as to why. My mind scrambled for an answer, anything to say, and what it found was the truth. “I-I was simply curious.” It was rather plain, but I felt no guilt in saying it. However, my stammer and my flustered tone may have angled Tiz’s suspicions towards something else.

He betrayed none of this on his face, making it impossible for me to tell behind his genial smile. “Ha ha, well, are _you_ busy tonight?” He redirected the question back at me, giving me an inkling that the boy had an idea forming in his head.

I blinked and shook my head from side to side.

“...No, I have nothing to do.” I was equal parts curious and nervous to hear his reply to my answer, my grip shifting uneasily on the hilt of my sword.

A paralyzing shyness crept into Tiz’s features, evident all over his face and body. His cheeks flushed slightly in a smooth dusting of pink, while his hands nervously grabbed at the bottom of his shirt. Whatever he was about to say, it was not easy for him to do so. “W-Well, in Eisen, they are having Hartsfest tonight to celebrate the end of the war,” he explained, his tone sounding both scared and apprehensive.

“Would you, um...w-would you like to g-go with me, Alternis?”

His voice grew more tentative as the sentence went on, shrinking into a whisper, just as his head was attempting to shrink between his shoulders.

Silence. I do believe that my heart skipped slightly at his proposal, pumping faster to adequately fuel the burn erupting in my cheeks. My mind seemed to shut down at hearing the question, and in accordance to that, my tongue grew numb with blank stupidity. Chills slithered down my arms and shoulders, crawling down my lower back and icing my armor-clad skin.

I, Dark Knight Alternis Dim, was very certain that I had just been asked out on a date.

I realized that Tiz may have not intended for it to sound like that, but my first thought had been quite the opposite.

_What is wrong with me?_

I coughed in an attempt to clear my nerves and reinvoke feeling into my tongue, which felt ill-suited to the task of communicating my answer.

“...W-Why yes, I would, Tiz. I would be honoured to do so.”

There was no hiding my rattled nerves at this point. At hearing my gloriously pitching tone, Tiz appeared to be amused as well as enormously relieved. “Great! Hartsfest starts at sundown, so when should we arrive?”

My mind, incapable of making logical decisions, said the first thing I could think of. “Sundown begins at eight; perhaps we should go then?” This seemed to be an adequate answer, because I saw no reluctance pass Tiz’s face.

“Alright, eight o’clock it is.” He agreed to my proposed time with a nod of his head. “Should I meet you there?”

I considered taking him in my airship, _the_ _Dark_ _Knight,_ but I figured that Tiz had access to even faster modes of transportation, and wouldn't need my help. _He doesn't need you._ I growled irritably to myself.

“Yes, that would be fine. Until then, Tiz.”

I decided to quickly peel myself away from him then, though I felt a fair bit of reluctance in doing so. I had enjoyed our conversation greatly, but knowing that I would see Tiz again later made it easier to leave him. I bowed slightly before turning away, forcing my legs to walk down the sloping road.

_Don't look back. Don't look back._

The last thing I heard from him was a goodbye, said with a voice I could never fully wipe from my mind.

“Goodbye, Alternis! See you later!”

I simply raised my hand to return his words, fearing if I did anything more, I would turn around and run straight back to him.

Tiz was frustratingly enamoring, and called to my attention more than I thought was possible. I had not been distracted by anything else whilst talking to him, finding nothing as important as holding his gaze. _He is charming in the most farmboyish of ways; which is to say, he is charming without meaning to be._

Tiz asking someone as unworthy as me to accompany him to Hartsfest was an honor that I was not willing to pass up, and an event that now made my heart race with anticipation. I could hardly wait to see him again as I passed the old graveyard, though I spared it a glance, for Owen’s sake. _My friend, may you rest in peace._

Now, all that was left was to get myself ready for tonight. I briskly walked down the street and out of the city, heading towards my airship. My mind was already swimming with what to do, thinking of how to prepare.

_I will do my best to make the night go as well as I want it to._

The only question was: what did I expect to happen on my little endeavor with him?

-time skip-

There was nothing more frustrating than trying to decide what to wear for an outing.

I had no idea if this was a date, or simply a night with a friend, so the formality of my attire became relative. I glared angrily at my closet from inside my helmet, not yet deciding to remove it, or the rest of my armor. The scowl on my face could make milk sour with a glance, I felt so venomously frustrated.

I had chosen not to wear my armor for tonight, instead thinking that Tiz deserved something less reclusive from me. Besides, if this _was_ a date, I didn't want to reflect poorly on myself, or the duchy.

_Here in Eternia, we wear full body-armor at every occasion._ I thought dryly to myself.

There was a gentle knock on my door, jarring my thoughts away from my wardrobe.

“Come in.” I said without looking away, not bothering to hide the aggravation in my tone.

Little to my surprise, Edea poked her head through the doorway, blinking when she saw me standing so close to my underused closet.

“Uh, Alternis? Are you going out somewhere?” She asked with a note of confusion. I could understand why she was so perplexed: I rarely went out anywhere, and when I did, it was in my armor. I could think of no occasion in which I had dressed formally for anything, at least, not since my appointment to the Council of Six.

_Why do I even have a closet?_

I sighed and turned to face her, already knowing that I was going to have to tell her why I was getting ready, and dreading the fact. “Yes, I'm going to Hartsfest tonight.” I said in a haggard tone. Funny, I sounded just as tired as I felt.

One of Edea’s eyebrows rocketed up towards the ceiling, making her look painfully cynical. “And why are you going to Hartsfest?” She asked disbelievingly. I could hear her unspoken questions: why was I suddenly interested in things like festivals? They had never really interested me before, so what invoked the change? Why wasn't I simply wearing my armor there?

I sucked in a breath, trying to steel myself.

_Be strong, Alternis._

“I was...i-invited.”

Her expression instantly changed to surprise, accompanied by crushing curiosity. “You were invited!? By who!?” Edea’s voice went up several octaves and raised in volume, her feet drawing her to stand closer to me. My head receded towards my shoulders, while I tried to avoid her blue eyes. They were unbearably demanding, practically ordering me to give away the information.

_Is it wise to tell her? Possibly not, but I feel as if she won't leave me alone until I do..._

I gulped slightly, feeling defeat rising in my gut. I tightly shut my eyes and looked away before softly murmuring my answer.

“...Tiz.”

My voice was almost too quiet to hear, though my soft-spoken words may as well have been shouted for the effect they had.

Edea staggered backwards, her eyes widening substantially at my revelation. “Tiz!? Tiz asked you to go with him!?” She demanded. She seemed to be having a very hard time comprehending my situation; after all, Tiz and I had never really spoken before, making this all seem very sudden to her.

_Her and me both._

My cheeks flushed and I turned back away, feeling humiliated and embarrassed.

“Yes,” I ratified.

Once Edea finally understood, her eyes lit up like fireworks, and a large grin threatened to split her face in two. She clasped her hands together over her chest, releasing a happy squeal akin to that of a child. “Oooh, Alternis! I can't believe you got asked out on a date!”

My eyes widened and I whipped around to face her, feeling the temperature of my face reach searing levels. “T-That is not so! Tiz simply asked me to accompany him, that is all!”  I stuttered quickly in retribution. Edea gave me a look of pure disbelief, then placed her hands on either side of my helmet. She pulled the metal swiftly away before I could protest, revealing my embarrassingly flushed face. The corner of her mouth rose at seeing my blushing cheeks, along with one smug eyebrow.

“...You don't seem to think that.”

My heart leaped as I realized that she was correct, my throat constricting slightly at the thought. I made a move to rebuke, but instead bit my tongue, knowing that it would be a lie.

I sighed and turned my head away, trying to calm my nerves.

_I'm still blushing like an idiot, and if that wasn't bad enough already, she just called me out on...No, maybe she hasn't guessed._ I begged that she hadn't guessed.

Edea moved slightly closer to me, leaning to look at my turned face. She now looked deadly serious, with a gaze like shards of ice. I could sense her question, tensing in apprehension of it, wishing for anything else.

“Alternis...Do you like Tiz?”

It was said quietly, but it struck my heart like the blow of a mace. That useless organ began to beat faster inside my chest, crying out in agreement to Edea’s words, but trapped inside my armored chest. My world threatened to tilt with the scale of her discovery, so I tightly shut my eyes.

_No. No no no, not this._

It was useless, I had already answered the question in my mind. I knew the answer, but I found it near impossible to say aloud. It was like finally committing to that reality, the enormity of that decision.

When we first met, I had been fascinated by Tiz. He was the sole survivor of one of the world’s greatest calamities, alone in the world without his friends, family, or home. In that sense, he reminded me of my younger self. He had earned pity and sympathy from me, two emotions I rarely even consider feeling. Tiz was different: somehow he warranted such emotions from my heart.

Word soon reached me that Tiz was assisting the wind vestal, an act that provoked both devastation and shock from me. The boy had lost everything he cared about: his brother, his home, and yet he still chose to go on a journey with Agnès. He still chose to help her unconditionally, and to protect both her and her cause. Tiz’s choice left me awestruck with him, amazed at his resolve and tenacity. Even after I struck him unconscious on the Eschalot, he showed no fear or hesitance towards his self-appointed duty. Nothing could cow him away from Agnès’ side, which meant to me that I would eventually have to strike him down. The idea didn't sit well with me, like I had saved Tiz’s life only to extinguish it in the end.

I didn't want to kill him.

The duchy kept a watchful eye on the vestal’s party as they awakened the crystals in the first world, and often I scrambled to hear every piece of information as soon as I could. The two people I repeatedly read about were Edea and Tiz. I kept my concern for the boy I saved a secret, knowing that such feelings for an enemy would not make me look strictly allegiant to the duchy. Still, I always desired to know where he was, what condition he was in, and if he was even still alive.

When they attempted to infiltrate the Duchy of Eternia, I was the one who was forced to leave the Lord Marshal’s side, to wait for the Warriors of Light to come to the Holy Pillar. My instructions were to kill the fairy behind all of the darkness, and to eliminate any obstacle in my path. Anyone who opposed the duchy would be cut down by my sword, whether they be important to me or not.

I told myself that I was ready to face them. I told myself that I was ready to fight Tiz, to kill Edea. It was all so wrong, so grotesquely twisted. I was forced to kill both family and...friend. Yes, I counted Tiz as a friend. I was forced to kill them for the sake of progress, and for the salvation of the world. And yet, if the Grand Marshal hadn't ordered me himself to do it, I would have rather watched the world die than kill anyone I cared about.

But not everything went as planned. Time and time again I pleaded Edea to come back to the duchy, but she denied me each and every time. I even tried to confess my feelings for her, but was blatantly rejected without a second thought. I have never felt such despair.

I was eventually defeated by them, despite my most desperate efforts. I was within an inch of my life by the time I dropped my sword, coughing blood onto Grandship’s deck. My helmet split, and my knees buckled, sending me crashing towards the wooden boards. I sank to my knees with my head bent low, feeling the two pieces of my helmet fall on either side of me. I had lifted my head and looked into Edea’s eyes, finding only pure shock on her fair features. She stared at me, and then to her companion, who’s face grew fuzzy with my loss of blood. I coughed again, feeling pain erupting throughout my entire chest.

The ship had rocked in the turbulent winds, and I was sent flying overboard. My vision went black moments after I was thrown from the railing, making it impossible to know what had happened after that.

I later learned that I was saved by the duchy, rescued on the brink of death. I didn't even wake from my seemingly endless slumber until soon before the Warriors returned to our world.

It was joyous, to witness the return of the heroes who had saved our lives. But I noticed quickly that only three had come back, leaving me to wonder where the fourth had gone. I was told soon after about Ringabel, and where he had left to. Receiving information about him was jarring and absolutely shocking, and of course, very embarrassing.

Edea had returned promptly to Eternia, though only when agreements were made to begin negotiations between the duchy and the Orthodoxy. Agnès became the leader of the crystals and head of the Crystal Orthodoxy, beginning her quest to unite the four crystals of Luxendarc.

And lastly, Tiz returned to Norende.

His choice was predictable and amazingly simple, but still incredible nonetheless. He began the reconstruction effort to rebuild his hometown, gaining help and volunteers from around the globe. More than once, I was tempted to visit him there, to ask how he was, and if he needed any more assistance. Sadly, fear of his possible hatred kept me back, leaving me to watch sorrowfully from a distance. Always had I wanted to introduce myself to him, to ask his forgiveness, to get to know the boy I saved.

As amazing an unrealistic as it was, he had been the one to come to me. Today, he had asked me to talk, beginning a conversation that I wouldn't ever forget. It seemed surreal that after all this time, I was finally talking to him, without hatred or violence. He asked me to attend a festival with him, either as friends or as something more.

Edea had asked me if I liked him as something more.

I released a shaking breath from my mouth, feeling my chest constrict as I spoke.

“...Y-Yes.”

Edea’s expression transformed into a look of pure joy, her grin reappearing along with that twinkle in her eye. She surged forwards and wrapped her arms around my neck, nearly tackling me in an embrace.

“Oh, Alternis! I'm so happy for you!” She cried, pulling her smaller form closer to my chest. I froze my posture, but allowed for the contact, even going so far as to tentatively put my own arms around her to return it.

_I'm not sure why we’re hugging. None of this makes any sense…_

She pulled away from me after a few moments, her arms retreating back to her sides. “So, what’s your plan for tonight? What are you going to do?” She asked excitedly, her blue eyes sparkling with joy. My cumbersome mind faltered at the question, finding only confusion.

“Should I have a plan?”

At my query, she let out a violent sigh of disdain, rolling her eyes. “Of course you do! You need to tell Tiz how you feel about him, and for that, you need a plan!”

Fear spiked my heart at the thought of confessing my new-found feelings, my eyes widening slightly. “W-Why do I have to tell him?” I inquired in a slightly panicked tone.

Edea gave me a look that instantly made me feel stupid for asking, placing her hands on her hips. “Because, if you don't tell him, you'll regret it for the rest of your life!” She said chidingly.

_That seems quite harsh, but she may be right._

I realized that I _would_ regret not confessing to Tiz, even if the idea was absolutely terrifying. The thought of living without Tiz was even scarier than the idea of confessing to him. My greatest fear was rejection, whose sting I knew all too well, but a small part of me held the fervent hope that he would return my feelings. Unfortunately, hope alone was not enough.

“A-Alright, let’s pretend that I am going to confess. What should I do beforehand?”

I already knew from experience that blurting my confession outright would be far too straightforward. Yet, I had no idea how to build up to that, or pick the correct moment to do so.

_I'm...actually quite happy that Edea is here._

The blonde girl smiled knowingly at my question, making me realize that she was getting quite a bit of enjoyment out of this.

“I would say to trust your instincts, but you've proven to be, um...pretty terrible at this sort of thing.”

The truth of it stung a bit more than I expected, but I only let it show with a slight grimace. _She’s right._

 

“So, I’d start by warming up to him a little. Play some festival games, get some food, and have fun!” She said with a big smile. “Then, after that, the right moment should present itself. It’ll probably be just you two. Alone. With no one else.” The thought made me easily blush, which was the tinder for her next smile. “ _That’s_ when you confess.” She said that like it would be elementary, but I felt as though I could easily mess up any part of that plan.

Some of my doubt must have shadowed my face, because Edea’s mouth quirked into a slight frown. “Alternis Dim, you can do this. I know you can. I have complete faith in you,” she said sternly. I felt slightly better after hearing her words of encouragement, but I still knew that I was lacking something important.

“...Edea, I have no confidence.” I said this outright, my head hanging slightly as I looked away in shame. I had never really been confident in anything other than combat, and I was certainly not bold in a thing such as love. My faith in myself was lacking, and I was clueless on how to fix it.

Edea sighed with a smile on her face, resting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“Alternis, Tiz isn't very confident either,” she murmured softly to me. My head jerked up and turned towards her, my brown eyes catching her blue ones.

“He isn't?” I asked surprisedly. Edea chuckled and nodded her head, her hand on my shoulder turning into a playful punch. “He’s not. I think that’s part of the reason you two would go well together,” she admitted with a sly grin. I rolled my eyes at her antics, but at the same time, felt a smile begin to tug at the corners of my mouth. _Perhaps I do have a chance_.

“I hope that you're right, Edea,” I murmured softly, “but, there is still the matter of my attire.” I said this with a mournful glance towards my dismal selection of clothes.

The girl didn't look worried in the least bit, taking my arm and pulling me over to my closet.

“Not to worry, Alternis. You have the best fashion expert in all of Eternia at your side.”

Somehow, I didn't feel reassured.

-time skip-

I stood right outside of the city of Hartschild, thinking quietly to myself as I waited for Tiz’s arrival. Most of what I was thinking sounded like this: _I look like an idiot,_ and _I wish I had my armor._

Edea had chosen a very unlikely contender for my clothing, then proceeded to force me to wear it. The top consisted of blue fabric and a fluffy white collar, accompanied by elbow-length black gloves. My pants were a simple shade of black, joined by black boots, and a belt buckle that wasn’t anything special. Edea had only been particular about my shirt. Once she laid eyes on it, her face turned into a very frightening look for her: mischievousness. I had no idea why me wearing it was so amusing to her, but something told me that I would find out quickly.

My hair was freshly curled and combed for the occasion, appropriately neat and tidy compared to my usual helmet-hair. I felt at least slightly prepared appearance-wise, but my stomach still felt as if it was twisted into knots. _I don't know if I can do this._

Suddenly I spotted Tiz approaching, feeling my heart leap as I laid eyes on him. He was wearing his shepherd's garb, making me feel slightly overdressed, but content nonetheless. His brown hair looked combed, or at least as combed as his fluffy locks could be. Looking upon his features once again seemed like a kick to the heart, making it thump wildly in my chest. I feared that if Tiz got too close, he would be able to hear its frantic pounding.

Once Tiz saw me, I watched with amazement as his eyes went wide as saucers. He walked towards me slowly, his gaze racing up and down my figure as he did. Once he was close enough, he managed to claim his charming voice.

“A-Alternis, you look great,” he complimented quietly, provoking a not-so-small blush on my cheeks. “Ringabel had that exact shirt, you know.” A smile crawled its way onto his face, nervous at first, but gaining slight confidence as he spoke.

My eyes widened with realization; I now knew why Edea made me wear this. I found myself angry with her for planning this behind my back, but saved it for when I saw her next. “You have Edea to thank for that, she chose my attire for tonight. I hope that I'm not making you uncomfortable, Tiz…?”

The boy instantly dismissed my worries, waving his hand as he moved slightly closer to me. “No no, it’s fine. It’s just...kind of amazing. I only knew it was you instead of...him because of your belt buckle, actually,” he said with a glance towards my waist. _I'm sure Ringabel would be worn something gaudier._

I shrugged my shoulders, letting the corners of my mouth turn up slightly. “Well, I'm glad you recognized me, at least. You look nice as well.” I motioned with my head towards his own outfit, which he seemed disdainful of. He sighed and brushed some invisible dirt from his shoulder.

“I honestly had no idea what to wear for this, so I panicked and went with something I'm, um, comfortable with. I'm sorry about that.”

“Don't apologize, I felt the same way. I refused to wear my armor here, though,” I said with a light chuckle, trying to ease his worries. I felt slightly better now that I could relate to Tiz, just as Edea said I would. It was enough to ease some of the tension inside of me, if only a little.

He found my words amusing and released a wondrous laugh, making me feel triumphant towards doing something right.

“I'm glad you didn't wear your armor, though,” he said once his laughter had settled, replaced by something more shy. My curiosity piqued to hear that, and I desired to ask what provoked him to say such a thing, but I felt as though it would be too soon to do so. _Just wait. Go slow, like Edea said._

“Well then, Tiz, would you like to join the festivities with me?” I asked invitingly, conflicted on whether or not to offer him my hand. I eventually decided against it: I was fearful of coming on too strong, like I had made a habit of doing.

Tiz smiled warmly and nodded his head, showing his eagerness by the velocity of his motions. “Yes, of course! Let’s go.” His initial answer was quick and bright, though he quickly lowered his voice into something calmer, seemingly embarrassed for being so anxious to start. I found him heartbreakingly charming in this sense, though I only let it show with a small smile.

We began to move towards Hartschild, Tiz walking even with my pace, turning to flash me another grin before we fully entered the vibrant city.

Colorful flags were strung across buildings and street lamps, and orange lanterns hung above the fountain, filling the stone streets with a warm, inviting glow. Tables and carts littered the city, varying from diverse shops to games of chance. People were everywhere, all laughing and enjoying themselves under the light of the shining stars. Any other day, I would’ve looked upon this scene with different varieties of disinterest, but tonight, with Tiz smiling by my side, I felt a blooming excitement stir in my chest. _I want to be here. I want to be here with him._

Tiz looked around at each of the stands, deciding where he wanted us to go first. “Hmm, where do you want to go, Alternis? It’s all so tempting, I can't pick just one,” he said almost sheepishly. Tiz’s shy, yet ardent behavior unconsciously pulled my mouth into a smile, a fond gesture that I quickly covered once I realized that I was doing it.

My eyes were drawn again to the fountain, and the light reflecting off of the water. Orange and white flashes shimmered beneath the surface, which I quickly realized were fish.

It appeared to be a game in which one could attempt to catch goldfish. “That goldfish scooping game looks enjoyable,” I suggested to him, pointing to it with my hand.

Tiz followed my gaze over to the fountain, his eyes lighting up once he saw the game for himself. “Yeah, it does look fun! Let’s go try it!”

His hand darted out to grab mine, leaving him just enough time for our fingers to entwine before he began to drag me along. My heart skipped and my face heated up instantly, not out of embarrassment, but due to the gesture.

_Tiz is holding my hand. He’s holding my hand._

I allowed myself to be dragged; I wasn't functioning properly anyway. If I had tried speaking, I was sure that no words would come out. Tiz could shut me down so easily, just with a simple touch, or even an expression. He was quickly becoming my weakness, the soft side of my heart. Oddly enough, I didn't mind as much as I thought I would.

Tiz stopped once we reached the woman running the game, though his hand did not revoke its hold. His grip was strong, but at the same time, gentle, as if he would release at the slightest provocation from me. I could faintly feel the callouses on his fingers through the fabric of his gloves, probably to product of many years of farmwork. I found them a necessary part of who Tiz was. _He’s the boy from Norende, the one I saved._

The woman running the game greeted us with a smile, giving us each a slight bow. “Welcome! Would you like to try your hand at goldfish scooping? It’s a cherished pastime in Yunohana.”

Tiz nodded eagerly, another smile finding his face. “Yes, we would like to try.” He moved to reach into his pocket for his wallet, but my hand was faster. By the time he extracted that small bag, I had already paid the woman for our game, and she had gone to look for our scoopers. Once Tiz realized what I had done, he glanced at the woman, then at me, a questioning look on his face. I returned his expression with a passive one, looking back into his brown eyes.

“We’ll take turns paying.” At the end of the sentence, I allowed myself to smile, to show Tiz that it was okay. He glanced down at my mouth, awestruck to see me make such a gesture, then back at my eyes, a light blush covering his cheeks. My throat constricted to see him like that, while my chest felt like there was something frantically trying to punch its way through it.

Unable to help myself, I gave his hand a light squeeze, directing his attention to our conjoined fingers. That small blush became a deep red, covering most of his face and the tips of his ears. His mouth quirked as he hesitantly drew his hand away, making my own smile turn infinitely coy.

Seeing Tiz act as nervous as I felt gave me slight confidence, enough to lightly call him out on it. Admittedly, I loved watching him blush. _He’s...adorable, for lack of a better word. No, actually, it fits perfectly._

The woman finally returned with our scoopers and cups, jarring us out of our daze and handing us both one of each. “Any goldfish you scoop are yours to keep! Have fun!” She moved aside to allow us access to the fountain, wishing us good luck with our game.

Tiz and I came up to the side of the fountain, which gave me a good view of all the different goldfish. They were all very colorful, most of them sporting different shades of orange, yellow, red, and white.

I glanced at Tiz: he had already placed his scooper in the water, and was carefully following the trail of a colorful fish. His face was tight with concentration, his lower lip caught snugly between his teeth. The light from the lanterns painted a soft glow on his face, illuminating his handsome features and turning his tanned skin honey-gold. I swallowed and forcefully pulled my gaze away from him, turning back to the water and trying to single out a goldfish to target. I needed to focus on something other than Tiz, or else I would end up doing something foolish.

My scooper tailed the nearest goldfish, one sporting many shades of orange and white, tracing its movements silently through the water. Meanwhile, Tiz let out a huff of discontent beside me, making a slight splash. “Darn, almost got him,” he murmured disappointedly as he pulled his scooper away. My eyes flicked back to my own quarry, with my scooper carefully skimming the surface of the water. My cup was poised in front of the goldfish, patiently waiting for it to swim close enough. _Just a little closer...and-_

Suddenly, there was a tap on my cup as Tiz accidentally pushed his into it. We had been moving closer to one another without me even realizing, our shoulders just brushing together now that we were near enough to do so.

My head snapped up at the same time his did, making me realize the shortness of the distance between us. His face was mere centimeters away, close enough for me to feel his warm breath on my cheeks. I felt my skin heat up immensely, and watched as a deep blush covered Tiz’s cheeks as well. What should have appeared humiliating seemed only to make him more perfect to my eyes, the red hue picturesque and gorgeous against the pinky-brown of his skin. My eyes locked onto his, gazing into those chocolate-brown depths and losing myself in them. I _wanted_ Tiz. I had never wanted anything so badly as I wanted him: a deep, stinging need in the center of my chest. And most of all, I wanted him to return my affections, more than anything else in the world. I thought of how close he was, how easy it would be to lean forward, to close the distance between our lips…

_And yet, Edea told me that I would know the moment when it came. This...doesn't feel like that moment._ I decided to follow my instincts, even if they weren't the most reliable when dealing with love.

We both drew back at the same time, though I did so with a fair bit of unspoken hesitance. I turned my head to attempt to hide my red face, though my guess was that Tiz had already fully witnessed its gloriously flushed state. The embarrassment of being in that situation was overpowering, so much that I found it difficult to speak. “M-My apologies,” I murmured past my deep-rooted nervousness. Tiz made a quick shake of his head, visibly swallowing hard.

“N-No, it’s fine. I'm sorry,” he insisted, moving slightly to look my way. My head turned, but I avoided his eyes, trying not to meet that embarrassment head-on. I very badly wanted to change the subject, to try and forget that awkward moment even happened, but I felt that it would take more than a distraction for something like that to simply go away. _I hope that our night has not been ruined._

Tiz glanced quickly around, his eyes locking on a nearby food cart. “H-Here, I’ll go get us some food. I'll pay for it this time.” His blush had not faded even by the time he walked away, meaning that he was just as flustered as I was. I thought of possibilities as to why that could be, but found them all too far-fetched to believe. _Tiz couldn't return my feelings, that would be too much of a blessing for a person like me._ I had received far too few blessings in my life to ever expect them to just happen.

Still, my heart selfishly called out to his: a desperate, fervent cry. My chest was full of words left unspoken, things that I would eventually have to say to him, should I continue down this path. Doing so would expose the weakest parts of my heart, and just the thought of that was absolutely mortifying. I had never even thought to let someone get so close to me, so why, why all of a sudden with this boy from Norende?

_Why did it have to be Tiz, who I hurt and fought against? Tiz, who I am unworthy of in all aspects?_

_Tiz, who I am unmistakably, hopelessly in love with?_

Tiz’s POV:

The food vendor on the side of the road was selling riceballs, which sounded good enough to me. I would have gone to the nearest food cart, regardless of what it was, to get away from the awkwardness I had stupidly created.

_You were the one who bumped into him, you clutz. It’s your fault._

Shame and embarrassment burned on my cheeks at the simple thought of mine and Alternis’ faces being so close together. He was breathtakingly close, so much that it would have been an easy task to just lean forward… And yet, my shyness and hesitancy were wonderous at holding me back.

_I...actually would have kissed him, had I been more confident in myself._

Truth be told, I had never kissed anyone in my life. Then again, I felt differently for Alternis than I had for anyone else I had ever met, even Agnès.

My rejection from Agnès had stung like like the worst kind of pain; deep in my chest, like a physical ache. I had sunk into a depression for a week or so afterwards, mostly staying around the Norende Ravine and helping with the building effort of Norende, trying to take my mind off of my heartache. By Edea’s urging, I visited the city of Caldisla to meet with the King. It had been the first time I smiled in a while, but that small improvement was nothing compared to what happened next.

The most unlikely person had stepped through the palace doors: Dark Knight Alternis Dim. I had felt a fair deal of surprise at seeing him, but no fear or aggression towards him any longer. Long ago had I buried the hatchet, setting free any resentment I felt towards anyone in the duchy, least of all, him. After all, Alternis had been the one to pull me out of that river, which warranted no foul emotions from me. Once he saw me, I had offered him an experimental smile of greeting. He had returned it with a nod and a small wave.

When he had turned to leave, I found myself running after him, mostly on impulse, but not by accident. He accepted my desire to speak with him, and the conversation that followed was one that I would never forget. The melancholy stupor I had been residing in was simply wiped away, cleared by Alternis’ easy words and presence. He had helped me more than he knew, enough so that I felt the desire to see him again. My thoughts had drifted to Hartsfest, and my mouth spoke without hesitation.

To my amazement, he had accepted my invitation.

I had only realized later that this night out sounded quite like a date, and crushing embarrassment was the only emotion that followed. Outwardly I had hoped, prayed that Alternis wouldn’t think of it that way, but strangely enough, part of me wished for the opposite. _It was the strangest I had ever felt._

-flashback-

“I don't know what to wear, Agnès.” I admitted hopelessly to the wind vestal, shamefully revealing my more defeatist side. We were standing in the bedroom of my small cabin, one of the first things built by the Norende reconstruction effort. It wasn't very showy or exciting, but I had never needed anything more.

Agnès was currently looking towards my meager selection of clothing with pursed lips and furrowed brows.

“...Honestly, Tiz, you don't have that many clothes, do you?” She said with a near dismayed look. I had asked her to visit in order to receive clothing advice, placing any sore feelings towards her behind me, but the vestal seemed to be having no more luck than I was. I sighed and sat down on my bed, burying my face in my hands.

“No, I don't. Ugh, this is such a disaster…” I moaned dismally, my voice muffled and pitiful-sounding.

Agnès made an exasperated noise and placed her hands on her hips, walking over to stand in front of me. “Now Tiz, I believe that you are overreacting.” She chided softly down to me. I raised my head to look up at her, letting my hands drop onto my lap. _Am I overreacting?_ I had no idea what the answer to that question was.

The frustration of this whole thing was exhausting and extensive, right down to what I should wear. I sighed and bit my lip, almost hard enough to draw blood. “I don't even know what I'm going to, to be honest,” I said in a small voice. Agnès gave me a confused look, tilting her head slightly to the side. “Aren't you going to Hartsfest?” She asked slowly, as if puzzled.

I sighed and shook my head. “I meant that I don't know if this is just an outing with a friend or a…a d-date.” I said that last word with a drop in volume and obvious difficulty, turning my head down towards the floor. I was embarrassed to even say such a thing, knowing how ridiculous I must sound.

Agnès didn't move, but I could practically feel her eyebrow arch across her forehead. “...Do you want this to be a date?” I flinched at the question and tightly shut my eyes, taking in fistfuls of my bedsheets with a white-knuckled grip. Why did she have to ask?

At my lack of response, Agnès chose to press me even further. She leaned down to my level, trying to look me in the eye. “Tiz, do you, um...do you like Alternis?”

A deep blush crawled across my cheeks, making me squeeze my eyes shut even more tightly than before.

Did I like dark knight Alternis Dim? Was I entranced by his smooth voice, his quiet nature, and his features that I knew lay beneath his helmet? It had only taken our latest conversation for me to figure out the answer to those questions. Just talking to him had given me clarity enough to see what my heart truly felt.

A hard lump formed in my throat, impossible to swallow, and near impossible to talk around. Still, I mumbled out my reply. “...I...I think I d-do.” I whispered into my shoulder.

“I really, h-honestly think that I do.”

 

-end flashback-

 

Coming to terms with my own emotions was one of the hardest things I had ever done, though I knew that confessing them would be even more difficult.

When I first spotted Alternis at the entrance to the city of Hartschild, my thoughts had instantly raced to Ringabel. The only difference in their features was in his expression: dark, serious eyes, and a tight, resolute face. Earlier in our journey, Ringabel would've been wearing a coy smile, winking towards any beautiful woman to cross his path.

One’s expression can change the entire look of their appearance, though I had spent enough time with Ringabel to know every aspect of him and every expression he made. We had journeyed together, fought together, and lived together for months, making us uniquely attuned to one another in an indescribable sort of way. Because I knew Ringabel’s darker side, even from a close distance it could have been the philanderer standing before me, rather than Alternis.

Memories of Ringabel seeped in from the corners of my mind, flooding my vision with images and feelings.

-flashback-

“Come now, Tiz, you truly look ravishing today.” Ringabel purred from behind. I rolled my eyes at that comment, choosing instead to quietly ignore the amnesiac in hopes that he would stop his advance. He was obviously trying to get under my skin, and I knew he would count it as a personal victory if he succeeded. This wasn't the first time he had said something along those lines, and I found that the best method of getting him to stop was to simply say nothing and ignore him.

Little did I know, he had no intention of letting up. Ringabel moved so that he instead stood in front of me, blocking my way out of our room at the Florem inn. Irritation rose in my chest, along with a bit of wary caution. That caution only swelled when his tone grew steadily more charming. “I’m fully serious, Tiz. Did you put care into looking more adorable than usual?” He asked with a coy smile. My cheeks burned and I took a step back, a large mistake on my part. I had easily fallen into his trap, despite my efforts. He was a master of the chase, and I was an effortless snare.

“I-I am not adorable, Ringabel!” I argued fruitlessly, hating the way my voice had risen several octaves. I didn't sound convincing even to my own ears.

The man only raised a brow in return, watching my retreat with unnerving interest. He knew that he had struck home with his last jab, weaving a web in which I had practically walked into. An unsettling glint appeared in his eyes, making my stomach inwardly curl.

He took a step forward, a lopsided grin slowly crawling across his handsome face. “Ah, how blissfully unaware you are, my dear Tiz,” he purred, his tongue snaking out to wet his bottom lip. I swallowed and backed up further, taking one step back for every step he took forward. Suddenly I felt the wall of the room press against my back, my panic spiking once I realized that I had run out of space to escape. He continued to advance on me slowly, going at a near painful pace, walking closer until his nose was centimeters from my own. His half-lidded brown gaze was captivating, snaring my own widened eyes and preventing me from looking away. My cheeks were flaming, and my palms pressed flat against the wall behind me. I shrunk away from him, dropping my gaze through sheer force of willpower and squeezing my eyes shut, bracing myself as if anticipating something to happen. His finger came to rest delicately at my chin, lifting my head and forcing me to look at him. I was afraid to move and afraid to breathe, shaking slightly, and completely at his mercy. He could have done anything he wanted to me, and he knew that fact all too well. I could see it in his eyes, and his smile.

I was his for the taking.

Instead of anything I was expecting, the philanderer released his hold on my chin and backed away, an amused spark returning to his eyes. “Oh, Tiz, what purity!” He crooned, suddenly all jokes and laughter. “The beautiful, untainted innocence that is, and will always be, Tiz Arrior.” He grinned at me with rows of flashing white teeth, his brown eyes sparkling mischievously as he did.

It took me a second to realize that I had just been successfully toyed with.

A flame of anger rose in my chest, both at his antics and the humiliation I suffered at his hands. I crossed my arms and scowled at him, trying to appear irritated through the demoting blush on my cheeks. “T-That wasn't funny, Ringabel,” I grumbled, trying to sound more serious than I looked.

He raised an eyebrow and mimicked my posture, one corner of his mouth rising devilishly in tandem with an eyebrow.

“Oh, wasn't it?” He asked me, searching my face for some emotion. His eyes glanced over mine before he let out a soft sigh, his smile becoming tamer as he did. “I do apologize, Tiz, for you are just _irresistible_ to toy with,” he said, purring the word _irresistible_ with a honey-coated tone. He then winked at the end of that sentence, making more blood rush to my face. He always took advantage of my tendency to blush, at every opportunity that was given.

With that final note, he turned and exited our room, leaving me to stand there, still pressed against the wall.

-end flashback-

Occurrences like that happened all too often for my liking, though less frequently after our first jump between worlds. Once Ringabel began to regain his memories, the personality and attitude of his true identity began taking form. He no longer stayed out after sunset, instead choosing to go straight to bed on most nights. His dates with various women declined steeply, trickling down to only one every so often. Ringabel’s dramatic change in behavior unnerved the rest of us traveling with him, but we made no mention of it. He never went into great detail about what he was going through, but the pained expressions on his face were enough to tell us everything we needed to know. We never felt the need to pry.

He always trusted me with secrets first. In the third world, when his memories came back to him in painful fits, we would speak in private on Grandship’s deck. I could vividly remember the nights we spent whispering under the stars, looking over our shoulders to make sure that no one undesirable was listening.

_He always went to me first, before anyone else._

-flashback-

“Tiz, I...I remember everything now.” He spoke without turning around to face me, unmoving from his current position against the railing on Grandship’s deck. His back was tense: it looked like he had been standing there for quite a while. The night air was chilled, either with the temperature, or because of the heavy atmosphere that seemed to hang around my friend.

I tentatively moved to stand beside him, leaning against the wood rail and trying to catch his eyes. “Your memory’s back? That’s great news.” I offered, trying to figure out why he didn't seem more joyful. For the longest time, Ringabel had wanted to find out who he was, but now that he had…I could tell that something wasn't right. I had never seen him act like this, and it scared me to see him in such a state. I could only see half of his face, but what I could see did not look like the man I knew. His expression was tight, accompanied by dark circles under his piercing, haunted eyes. He was staring at the ocean as if looking at something unseen, though I had only guesses as to what.

Ringabel sighed and hung his head from his shoulders, slouching his back and relaxing his posture slightly. “I'm not so sure. But at least it all makes sense now.” His voice was uncharacteristically quiet, sharpened with a darker undertone. It unnerved me to hear, making the hair on my arms prickle slightly with apprehension. I had never felt like this around Ringabel before: unsure, concerned...scared. I wasn't frightened _by_ him, but I was frightened _for_ him. I decided that I needed to help him, in any way that I was able.

I started by coaxing him to talk. “Will you tell me?” I asked him quietly.

He was silent for just a moment, before turning to finally look me in the eyes. He looked tired, haggard, and as if he was in pain. I realized that he had been looking away in an attempt to hide his gaunt appearance from me. Now, as he watched my eyes widen in a reaction to really seeing him, I could see more pain slowly creep into his face.

“I am...Alternis Dim. The dark knight.”

He said it slowly, holding my gaze with weary eyes. I had guessed this revelation much before this moment, but somehow, hearing it aloud felt like a physical blow. My breath hitched, and my heart skipped, but I did not speak, knowing that he was not done.

_Ringabel is Alternis Dim._

“I spoke before of my suspicions that we’d been transported to a parallel world,” he said, referring to the discussion we had earlier at Grandship’s helm. What he had spoken of at the time was unthinkable, going against everything we had fought for, but now...now it was starting to make sense. “I've been seeing more and more glimpses of the past these last few days.” As he spoke his eyes grew distant, remembering something from his other life. “I remember crossing swords with you, Agnès, and Edea any number of times.” He paused, then focused his gaze back on me, looking into my eyes. “And I've witnessed firsthand your death at the hands of a horrible creature.” The pain in his voice was strong, accompanied by heavy strands of guilt. I understood that he felt it was his fault, his fault for letting us die. After the Awakening of the third crystal in this world, he had fallen unconscious, regaining memories after the exposure to the crystal’s harshest light. We had all stood around him, afraid to move his body for fear of hurting him further. When at last he did wake, tears were streaming down his face. He begged and pleaded for our forgiveness, saying that he couldn't do it. Whatever “it” was.

Now, as he revealed his memories to me, I finally understood.

“And it wasn't simply a dream?” Asked the hopeful part of my soul, the one that didn't want to believe that this was happening. The one that still wanted to believe that we were doing the right thing.

But Ringabel’s ashen face and weary voice diminished that selfish hope, crushing it under the weight of reality. “No, a memory from a parallel world, most likely,” he murmured, looking out towards the sea. He seemed so sure of himself that it was hard to feel any doubt, even if what he said was not pleasant at all to think of.

“Do you remember when we first met in Caldisla?” His sudden question caught me slightly off-guard.

Confusion constantly littered my conscious, mixing memories from different worlds together, making it impossible to tell them apart. Yet, the memory he asked about was very clear in my mind, untainted by anything it touched.

“Yes, in the world before last,” I said with confidence, knowing that it was true.

Ringabel nodded in agreement, then turned back to face me. “And what did the pattern on Airy’s wings look like then?” Before I could answer, he did so for me, as if knowing that I wouldn't remember. “It looks like the number three now, but in the previous world, it was a four.”

I realized that Airy's wings _had_ been changing, gone unnoticed by me, and almost everyone else. _Almost everyone._

“Now that you mention it...How about the world before last?” I was very curious now, knowing that Ringabel was clearly onto something. It certainly didn't seem like a coincidence, and because Airy had not told us about this, I found the subject a bit alarming.

“It was a five. I recall it clearly,” Ringabel said without hesitation.

I said the pattern in my head, realizing one thing very quickly. “It’s decreasing…?” I whispered, my eyes widening with surprise.

Ringabel nodded slowly, his gaze sharp and cold with the memories of his past. “In my memory of you three getting killed, the pattern looked like the number six.” He tried to say this with as little emotion as possible, but on “killed,” I watched him flinch slightly, something flashing across his expression.

I had no idea what to make of that information, so I chose to ask for clarification. “And that means?”

“In short, I'm the dark knight from the world before your own,” Ringabel answered solemnly.

Realization dawned on me, the parts of the puzzle clicking together inside of my mind. “I see...The pieces are starting to fall into place,” I whispered. I said this knowing that it should have been a good thing, but the pain of the truth was much harder to bear. The lie had been easy to accept, light and harmless on the outside. Uncovering the truth revealed things, about each other, and about our actions that made us not sleep well at night.

But I knew that it was necessary, and I had gone without sleep before. I had lived with my own demons, and I could live with more if I must.

Ringabel seemed to read my mind, because that pained crease appeared on his forehead once more, along with a sorrowful grimace. “I don't want to believe it, but I think Airy really is...She’s…” He trailed off, unable to finish. His eyes closed, and the crease deepened. A grimace of pain twisted and distorted his mouth, while his hands closed into fists at his sides. “I could only watch it happen. I couldn't do a thing!” His voice was still a whisper, breaking towards the end, but he said it like it should have been shouted. No whisper should have been able to convey the pain, the anguish, the guilt...but his did. His breath hitched like he was trying to reign in his voice, or as if he was on the verge of tears.

My hand hesitantly reached out, touching his shoulder in what I hoped felt reassuring.“Ringabel…” I whispered his name, not knowing what else to say. _What do you say to someone who lost everything? How do you make them feel whole again?_ The questions I asked myself could not be answered by me.

Ringabel released a long sigh, looking down briefly before catching my eyes again. His hand came up to envelop my own, holding it against him as if he was afraid I would drift away. He had the right to be fearful; he had lost the people he cared about, watched them die in front of him. He felt the burden of their deaths on his shoulders, and lived with the loss in his heart. _I will not leave you._ I whispered in my mind. _I'll never let that happen to you again._

He held my gaze for a short while, before he blinked and broke the silence. “I have a favor to ask, Tiz,” he murmured, making my curiosity rise. “Please tell Agnès what I just revealed to you. Sometime, someplace where Airy isn't around. Will you do this for me?” His voice sounded desperate, pleading, as if he was expecting rejection from me.

In reality, it only took me a moment to decide.

“...Alright. Of course.”

His eyes widened, and his grip tightened on my hand, an awestruck note entering his voice.

“Then, you’ll believe me?” He whispered.

I nodded simply in response, my serious gaze resting in his brown eyes. I squeezed his shoulder reassuringly, feeling a sense of purpose well up in my chest.

“Ringabel...I will always believe you.”

-end flashback-

I had never trusted someone like I trusted Ringabel. We knew each other’s darkest secrets, never telling another soul, and supporting one another when we couldn’t stand for ourselves.

He had been extremely dear to me; the kind of friendship that came only once or twice in a lifetime. I missed him terribly, more than I could put into words, more than I could ever tell or admit to anyone.

Had there ever been anything more between us? I couldn't say for sure.

Sometimes he had hinted at it, always with a joking exterior, but perhaps he had felt differently than I did. At the time, I could only think if Agnès that way. Now that I looked back, considering her true feelings for me, I was met with a looming question. _If he had ever truly asked me to be with him, would I have said yes?_

Ringabel was confusing, irritating, slightly annoying, but undeniably charming. He could bug the hell out of the most patient of beings, but when in trouble, he would always stand by your side. Try as I might, I could never fully understand his ways, so I settled for trying to understand him. It was only later in our journey that I fully succeeded at doing this, when he revealed his true self to me. After that, everything else came easier. I could understand him at last.

And now that I was with Alternis, that same feeling of understanding had returned to me.

_But I hate the thought of mixing them together. They’re two different people._

I didn't want to become close to Alternis simply because I had been friends with Ringabel. I wanted to know him for who he truly was, like I had done with my friend.

I must have been standing in front of that food cart for ages, because finally the vendor tried to catch my diverted attention. “Um, sir? Are you going to buy something?” Her questioning, uncertain tone jerked me away from my thoughts and back to the problem at hand.

_Right. I came here as a diversion because I’m a gutless coward._

I sighed and nodded my head to her, pulling some pg out of my wallet. “Yes. Two riceballs, please,” I said wearily as I placed the money on the counter. She smiled and took it in the palm of her hand, replacing it with a plate of food. “Thank you, and enjoy!”

I nodded in thanks to her kindness, not finding the energy for saying an actual reply. I felt drained, more so when I thought of the embarrassment of confronting Alternis again. _This is your fault. You ruined the night for him._ I released another sigh, guilt weighing heavy on my mind.

To my surprise, Alternis was not standing where I had left him. Panic spiked my chest as I thought of reasons why, the main one being that he had grown fed up with my behavior and left. I dropped the food and hurriedly ran over to where the woman running the goldfish game was, trying unsuccessfully to appear calm.  “U-Um, excuse me, miss. Did you see where that tall blonde man went?” I asked almost tentatively, afraid to hear her answer.

The woman looked at me and thought for just a moment before recognition crossed her face, along with an easy smile. “Ah, him. He asked me to tell you that he went to stand over by the armory.”

Confusion littered my mind once I fully processed her words. _Why the armory? It’s far away from the rest of the festival...so...why?_ I was quick to thank the woman with a nod of my head. “Thank you,” I said gratefully to her, eager to be on my way.

She only smiled in response, giving me a parting bow. “You're welcome. Oh, and by the way…” Her expression turned slightly mischievous upon saying this, and what came next from her mouth. “...He is rather handsome, and I wish you the best of luck with him.” She said this with a small wink, making my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

I nodded again briskly, trying to wrestle the break out of my voice. “I’ll try my best.”

That was the best answer I could give. I quickly turned away from the woman and headed towards the armory on the eastern side of town. As I walked, the noise of the festival grew fainter, and the soft glow of lanterns faded quietly behind me. They were quickly replaced by the white light of the stars, winking from their high perches in the night sky. The night air was thick with the smell of dry grass and warm ground, and I found it comforting on tonight of all nights.

I finally spotted him after a bit of walking; he was leaning on the railing next to the armory, back to me, overlooking the magma seething beneath the town. The warm light of the molten earth created a soft glow around him, outlining his lean body perfectly for my eyes. I blushed and stopped my slow walk, pausing when I was only a couple meters from him. I wanted to say something, something to announce my entrance or to suffice as a greeting, but no words came.

Luckily for me, he broke the silence. “I apologize if I startled you by leaving: I simply wanted to go somewhere more...quiet.” His quiet, smooth voice startled me slightly, but I was quick to recover.

“N-No, it’s fine,” I murmured, reluctant to admit my momentary panic. _I thought that he had left me._

Alternis’ Pov:

Though Tiz told me that my sudden leave was excusable, I could tell that I had given him a scare. Just the thought set my heart to aching, and gave me heavy amounts of guilt. I absolutely _hated_ the thought of harming Tiz. I had already done it before, and was not eager to repeat that mistake ever again. Self-loathing rose like bile in my throat at simply hearing his voice, clogging it and making it difficult to breathe. Being around Tiz was suffocating to an extreme, because not only was I smothered by guilt, but I was forced to asphyxiate myself, forced to keep my feelings hidden from him. I was exhausted of this; it had been so sudden, to just meet him and then feel an overpowering urge to protect him, and to keep him safe. Though, now that I thought about it, perhaps my feelings had always been present, just not visible to my eyes and tangible to my mind. This may have started the day I dragged him out of that river, the day that this entire mess began. _I hope that this was a good idea._

I took a deep breath to calm myself, my grip tightening on the railing to the point of white-knuckle intensity. I was thankful for the grounding feeling it gave me, using the sobering pain as an anchor point for myself. I was going to do this, I had already decided. Everything was set; the location, the lack of people...now all I needed was the feeling. Luckily, what I lacked in confidence I made up for in emotions, buried as they were.

I listened to the sound of Tiz’s shoes on the pavement, and realized that he was coming to stand beside me. I forced my gaze straight and looked out into the night, though I carefully watched him appear out of the corner of my eye. My hands shook: I was already beginning to lose my nerve. _Calm down. Calm down._ I told myself while tightening my grip.

We stood in silence for a few moments, the only sound being my pounding heartbeat in my ears. I pleaded that Tiz could not hear it, though at this point, it wouldn't surprise me. Anyone within a five-meter radius should have easily been able to identify the rapid beat inside of my ribcage. Tension dripped from the air between us, but neither could find a way to break the silence.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Tiz opened his mouth to speak. “Listen, about earlier…” He began that sentence with no idea on how to end it. He paused to find the correct words, mouth closing and opening a few times as he thought. I already knew where he was going with this, and thinking about it did nothing to appease my turbulent emotions. His mouth opened again, this time having something to say. “...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-”

“Tiz, stop.”

My voice was a surprise to us both, speaking without even thinking. My mind reeled and my stomach flipped, but I kept talking, now that it was too late to turn back.

“You did nothing wrong.” I was wrestling my own voice to stay level, fearing what would happen if I didn't. I could feel my heart pressing against my ribcage, begging to be released, held back only by my fear. That same fear was strangling me, muddying my mind and clouding my vision. I did have a plan, but my mind was blank. My tactical approach was gone, and I was left stranded, not knowing what to do. Tiz was still looking at me with those damnably doleful eyes, apologetic for the littlest things. _Why should he ever feel the need to be sorry towards me?_ I thought incredulously to myself. Images and memories from all of our past encounters overpowered me, drowning me in guilt. Upfront in my mind, I could find nothing else to speak of but that which haunted me. “I should be the one apologizing,” I muttered, almost to myself.

Tiz blinked and looked at me uncertainly, like an unfamiliar wild animal. He was unsure of how to approach both me and this topic, seeing each as unreadable and potentially dangerous. “...Why should you apologize, Alternis?” He asked me like he had no clue as to _why_ . The thought made me angry for some odd reason; how could he forget that I had done such things to him when they constantly plagued my mind? When there were nights when all I did was think of what I'd done to him? When I _hated_ myself that much more for every injury, every threat ever made? I had never wrestled emotions like these; ones so wretched and hideous, festering in the deepest parts of my heart. My fists clenched again and my jaw tightened, anger swelling like ugly fire in the pit of my stomach. “Tiz, have you forgotten all I've done to you?” I asked darkly, struggling hard to keep my voice level.  Towards the end it broke with emotion, making me disgusted by my own weakness. _You're a pathetic, heartless monster, and he will never love you._ If I told that to myself, perhaps it would hurt less in the end.

Tiz’s face looked genuinely confused for a moment, but that was replaced by realization. He shook his head slightly to the sides, telling me that no, he hadn't forgotten. _Of course he hasn't._ If he did forget about such things, it would make me more angry than I could put into words. Instead he looked at me with a sorrowful expression, as if upset that I should even unearth these matters.

“Alternis, all of that is behind us,” he murmured softly to me. I released a humorless laugh, my caustic expression causing him to flinch back slightly. I couldn't believe that he would even try to convince me if such a thing. After so long lamenting over this, putting it behind me was impossible. These horrors were a part of me, and couldn't simply be wished away by someone’s pleading whims. “Nothing is behind me Tiz,” I growled, my tone low and dangerous as a knife. The acid in my voice stung enough to make him cringe. “I live with that guilt of harming you and threatening your friends. It torments my thoughts whenever I see you, and every moment up to now…” I stopped there, doubting whether or not to go on. _I've already shown immense weakness in front of him.There’s no point in holding back._

“...I was afraid.”

Tiz looked at me reproachfully, caution evident all over his face. Regardless, he chose to indulge me and my statement. He approached the wild animal, despite the danger it brought. “...What are you afraid of?”

I paused and stopped myself, part of me wishing to remain silent and place the muzzle back on, and the other still desperate to lash out, to be quit of this pain. I had already gone too far, said too much, and crossed the line between us. It would not matter now, because no matter what, I felt that his hatred was inevitable. I took a deep breath and grit my teeth together, then exhaled and allowed my shoulders to relax. _It doesn't matter now._

“I am afraid that you still hate me for what I did. And I was afraid that I would never get the chance to apologize to you.” I sounded much quieter to my own ears, but my voice still had the raw edginess of my prior outburst. I swallowed and unsuccessfully tried to level my tone. I wanted to sound sincere for this, because this might have been my most sincere statement of my life.

“...So I'll say it now: _I'm sorry_ , Tiz.”

The apology weighed in my heart heavy, but left my lips as light as a bird.

I expected Tiz’s next emotion to be contempt or disgust, as if he had been secretly hiding his hatred for me all this time. He would throw away my apology and tell me to never come near him again. My fear would have been correct, and I would be left to live the rest of my life in loneliness and pain. A genuine sob rose up my throat while bitter tears stung my eyes, but I swallowed hard to restrain myself. I couldn't fall apart, not yet. If rejection was nigh, there would be time for it later.

To my amazement, Tiz wore no expression of loathing. Instead he looked at me with his thoughtful brown eyes, appearing nothing near resentful. “You did those things because you were following orders. I know how seriously you take your job, Alternis, so I'm not mad. You were just doing what you were told.”

Forgiveness.

He gently shrugged his shoulders and offered me a lopsided smile, as if trying to lighten the mood.

_Forgiveness._

Tiz’s expression could will storm clouds away. And my heart, stormy to its core, pounded in my chest like a fly trapped in a jar. He had accepted my apology. I had to keep repeating that to myself, because it felt too good to be true. The subject that I had spent sleepless nights thinking on, the questions that constantly littered my mind, they were simply wiped away by the brightness of Tiz’s smile. I let out an involuntary sigh of relief, letting my shoulders sag with the lack of tension. This may have very well been the first time I had relaxed in months.

“...That is good to hear, Tiz,” I murmured breathlessly, feeling as if I had both just run five miles and gotten a good night’s sleep.

Tiz beamed with that radiant smile of his, again succeeding in melting my iron walls. “So, everything’s alright between us?” He asked, the innocence in his tone making my heart ache. My initial response to that was yes, but another thought tugged on my mind. I remembered Edea’s words, and I remembered why I had come here in the first place. Dread weighed heavy in the pit of my stomach as I realized what I had to say.

“Well…” my voice trailed off, but my uncertain tone did the trick. Tiz again looked at me, this time with concern.

“Well...what?” He seemed taken aback, hurt at the thought of some ill-blood between us. I was pained to think that I should be causing him to worry, but this matter had to be spoken of. The place, setting, and atmosphere all seemed correct, and my instincts told me that this was the time. It was now or never; either I would confess to him and potentially live in happiness, or I would not confess and most certainly wallow in despair.

My mouth opened, but nothing sensible came out. I was clueless on how to even begin this conversation, much less how to end it. I could think of nothing else, no plan or path for me to take. There was nothing left for me to do.

And so, I went with my last resort.

“T-Tiz, I need to t-talk to you about something.” I stuttered as I abruptly turned to face him. The words came out far less confident than I would have preferred: I practically had to force each one past my lips, knowing that I wouldn't have said them if my fear had its way. They were simple, but they said my point.

Tiz looked at me confusedly, his eyebrows creasing slightly. His mousy-brown hair was slightly disheveled, sticking up partway in some places. His brown gaze searched mine with wary caution, while the soft light of the Moon shone down delicately onto his features.

Never had he looked so perfect to my eyes.

“W-What is it, Alternis?” He murmured, his shyness causing him to stammer lightly. He was so perfect, absolutely flawless. His diffidence did nothing to take away from his impeccability, if possible, it strengthened it. His flaws made him flawless. The absolute worst aspect of it was: he had no idea of his own perfection.

I swallowed and continued on, biting my lip hard enough to taste the metallic tang of blood. “Tiz, you...you are...” My worthless ramblings gradually faded into weighted silence. Try as I might, I couldn't find the words to confess to him. What do you say to a person you love, who you want to protect, and who you desperately want to love you back? Who you would die for, just to keep safe? My mind failed me upon finding such words. I squeezed my eyes shut and turned my head slightly away, tucking my chin more towards my chest. My one hand had strayed to my side, where it balled itself up into the tightest fist I have ever made. I couldn't rely on my mind to speak for me. Countermeasures were needed, ones with either incredible rewards or agonizing consequences. It was time; I chose the option, releasing the iron bars that barricaded my chest. I felt emotion swell up my throat like a surging wave, brushing away the fear and opening the floodgates.

My heart burst, and my feelings soared.

“I love you, Tiz.”

There was no stammer, no hesitance, no shyness in my voice. I whispered it quietly, just loud enough to be heard. But with those words, I felt my walls cracking, bursting open. I was speaking from my heart, and now that I had spoken, I found I couldn't stop. There was no embarrassment towards what came next, nor the slightest shred of uncertainty. I simply opened my mouth, and for once in my life, I allowed my heart to speak.

“Tiz, I love the way you laugh, your infectious smile, the way that light shines through your hair, how your mouth quirks when you’re thinking, and how you blush at the slightest inclination. I love the way you protect your friends, how you fight for what you believe in, your resilience after devastation, and you can't comprehend how grateful I am to have met you. I want to protect you from harm and keep you safe, to cherish you and treat you like I know you deserve. It took our conversation in Caldisla for me to realize that I’ve always been in love with you, since the day we met.”

Once I was finished, I felt like a massive weight had been lifted off of my chest. Heavy pounds had been simply shed from my ribcage, causing my lungs to fully expand for the first time today. I could breathe easier, though “easier” was a bit of an understatement.

As relieving as it was, the largest weight wasn't yet removed. There was still one matter to be dealt with, and that was his reaction to my confession.

Since the beginning of my speech, the moment I told Tiz that I loved him, his mouth had dropped open. His eyes went wide, and a deep blush covered his cheeks, ears, and neck. He was silent throughout the whole time that I spoke, and now that I was finished, I was bracing for his answer. I was so afraid of his rejection, more afraid than I had ever been in my entire life. I had just placed my heart in front of him, and now it was up to him to accept or reject it. My vulnerability could not be measured to any other point in my life, not even the time I had confessed to Edea. Nothing else could even compare to this moment, and I knew that nothing ever would. I stood there, preparing for rejection, but desperately wishing for the opposite.

Tiz’s mouth moved, but no words came out. He was struggling for something, anything to say in response, but nothing came. It seemed like his voice was broken, making my panic slightly rise. Was he trying to find the words to deny me? Did he not want to hurt my feelings? The thought was born of that imminent dread. The continuing pause was maddening to the extreme.

Finally, his mouth closed, and he squeezed his eyes shut tight, making some decision in his mind.

Then he placed his lips on mine.

He did it rather quickly, just long enough for me to process what he was doing. I blushed hard and drew a blank for just about the millionth time that day, dumbly frozen where I stood as the boy I loved pressed his warm lips against my own. He pulled away, allowing himself just enough room to speak, looking me in the eyes to give me his answer.

“I love you too, Alternis.”

I blinked once, then twice, then a third time before fully hearing what he said. The words fell softly on my ears, but they cut through my vacant stupor like the sharpest knife. I stared at Tiz and thought of a response, mouth gaping open like a landlocked fish. I tried for a moment to think of anything to say to him, but found that actions speak louder than words.

I leaned in to kiss him again, near forcefully making contact with his lips. They were soft and flushed, transforming this into the most pleasant feeling I had ever experienced in my lifetime. I couldn't believe that I was actually doing it: I half expected this to all be some sort of neurotic dream, born of my deepest desires. And yet, as I tangled my fingers deep into his curly hair and caressed my thumbs against his blushing cheeks, this felt impossibly real. I had never kissed anyone before, and by my guess, neither did Tiz. The feeling was overpoweringly confusing, like my mind had been shut down, but my whole body had become jarringly awake. I could hear the frantic pounding of my heart in my ears, the strength of his arms around me, and the feel of his lips. He seemed unsure of what to do with his hands, tracing them hesitantly down my sides, so he settled for placing them around my torso, locking his hands at my lower back and pulling me closer to him. Our lips slid effortlessly against one another, locked in the most passionate embrace I had ever felt. It was achingly perfect, the feeling of his body pressed so pleasantly against mine. I never wanted to let go of him, to simply stay like this for all of eternity, entwined in one another's arms.

Unfortunately, the need for oxygen eventually drove us apart. He reluctantly broke away first, panting slightly as he did. Our breaths intermingled with the closeness of our mouths, clouding softly against my flushed cheeks. I didn't know what to say, much less what to do. My mind was void of all reasonable thought with the after effects of the kiss, and my tongue felt like lead. I blinked vacantly at Tiz to try and clear my thoughts, opening my mouth to say something intelligent, or at least mildly witty to him.

“...That was great.”

I wanted to die from embarrassment once I heard my own stupidity for myself. My already flushed cheeks burned even hotter, this time with mortification rather than discombobulation.

_I can't believe I just said that._

Tiz, much to my surprise, let out a laugh, throwing his head back slightly without revoking his hold on my waist. “You can say that again,” he chuckled, tipping his head back down to look into my eyes. His were sparkling with overflowing happiness, putting even the revered stars to shame. I was beautifully entranced by him, so much that I also laughed, feeling a smile slowly spread across my face as I did. Tiz stared, awestruck by it, causing more bubbling laughter to rise up from my chest. His eyes were impossibly wide, making him look comically shocked.

I looked down at him coyly, this time only letting one corner of my mouth rise. “Is something wrong?” I asked, knowing full well why he was making that adorable face.

He looked at me for another couple of moments before he also broke into a contagious grin. “I've never heard you laugh like that before, or smile so much.” His own smile grew as my fingers curled through his hair, my face coming to rest closer to his.

“You make me happier than anyone else I've ever met, Tiz,” I murmured, trying to sound serious while still grinning like an idiot. I wanted to whisper his name over and over: perhaps then it would finally sink in that this was indeed real. Living a life devoid of blessings, it was hard to believe that I had just been kissed by one.

Tiz chuckled and reached to softly peck my lips, a brief kiss, but still full of emotion. I blushed and he giggled, a lovely sound, tightening his gentle grip around my torso. “The same goes for me, Alternis.”

I sighed happily and rested my forehead against his, overwhelmingly thrilled to even do such a thing. It was still difficult to process the fact that he loved me back, that he returned my feelings. I gently pulled his head closer to mine, our noses softly brushing against one another. I was completely content, drunk with the bliss of being this close to him. Tiz’s hands came up to wrap around my wrists, holding me close to him as we basked in one another’s presence. His closed eyes opened, and he looked at me, a small smile tugging on his lips.

“Alternis, does this mean that we’re together?” He asked curiously, one eyebrow raised slightly in question.

I returned his smile with one of my own, nodding my head against his. “Nothing could keep me away.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for reading my first fanfic posted here. I apologize if it wasn't very good: it might take me a little while to fully figure out this website. "^^  
> Thanks again!


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